From time to time we all need help to improve our relationships. We need to work out how we can fix our relationships so they are better, not just for ourselves but also for our partner. Here are some tips to help you along your way:
1. When your relationship is good, write a list of all the positive things you can think of about your partner. Read it when your relationship is going through a bad time.
2. When you have a disagreement or argument avoid the phrases ‘you never’ and ‘you always’ – they are rarely true. Even if they are, saying them is unlikely to lead to the person changing.
3. Write loving messages in different coloured pens on plain paper, and then use it as wrapping paper for a small gift for your loved one.
4. We tend to like people who are themselves, who don’t pretend to be something they’re not. So, be yourself and be liked.
5. Try the homeopathic remedy ‘Natrum Mur’ if you tend to dwell on emotional hurt from the past.
6. Research suggests that people who are enthusiastic and demonstrative when their partner succeeds have stronger and longer relationships.
7. “Write the bad things that are done to you in sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble.” Arabic proverb
8. Spend some time each day being grateful for what you do have, rather than focusing on what you don’t have. First thing in the morning or last thing at night is often best.
9. Discuss problems with your partner when things are good between you. It’s at these times that misunderstandings are less likely to occur.
10. Research repeatedly shows that loving relationships rather than money lead to lasting happiness. Don’t neglect the people you love in order to make money and be a success.
11. Jealousy is often a hidden emotion. The Bach Flower Remedy ‘Chicory’ may be helpful if you are jealous of another’s possessions. ‘Holly’ is good for jealousy or any other strongly felt emotion.
12. Many people who suffer higher levels of fear have unrealistic views on other people: they see them as being totally devoid of all fear. Ask your friends about things that make them afraid – you may be surprised.
13. Trusting people comes at a cost – they occasionally let you down. Not trusting people comes at a bigger cost – a less happy and loving life.
14. Put as much energy and determination into making an existing relationship work as you would put into a new relationship.
15. When a relationship ends, give yourself time for grieving. Even if you chose to end the relationship, there will still be grief at the death of a dream.